I wrapped duct tape on our relationship, and then spray painted it black, like I saw my grandfather do with his motorcycle. If you didn’t look too close, you wouldn’t even notice. And it worked for a long time.
I tied a tourniquet around our relationship, like I saw on the medical dramas on tv. I ripped a piece of fabric from my flannel shirt, knelt down, tied it really tight. I said, it’s going to be okay.
I used my wire cutters to fix the barbed wire around our relationship, like I saw in western movies. I wore kid gloves. It held for a while.
I checked the oil, the tire pressure, the coolant, and the wiper blades of our relationship, like I saw the mechanic do at the shop, and then taped a piece of plastic over the broken window. I planned to take it in eventually but until then, it was fine.
I super-glued the broken shards of our relationship back together, like I saw the woman on the commercial do, and avoided getting the glue on my hands. I put it on the shelf, high up, so that no one could see the glue. I put some silk flowers in it. It looked so nice in that spot on the shelf; in fact, everyone commented on it. For a while, I even forgot that it had ever broken.
I finally took our relationship to the repair shop, and they said, well, we can download all of your stuff to a hard drive, which will give you enough storage for a little while longer. But this one was only meant to last 3-5 years, and you’ve had this for 4 years…so you’re gonna need a new one soon anyway. The question is, do you want me to fix it, or do you just want to go ahead and get a new one?
Well, how much is it gonna cost to fix?
A couple hundred dollars. Plus the hard drive.
But then, you’ll see all the personal stuff I’ve saved, and have all of my passwords to like, my bank account, and my medical records, and Amazon.
We don’t look at any of that. You can go on google and find out how to protect yourself.
But I don’t know how to do any of that, and I don’t know how to fix it myself. I don’t want to spend all that money. I’m not ready for a new one. Feel like I just got this one.
But I don’t trust this one anymore.
My new one is shiny, clean, and sleek, with gobs upon gobs of storage space. It’s fast. It’s reliable. It doesn’t shut down in the middle of things. It doesn’t give me error messages. I don’t have to call the helpline. My shoulders have relaxed. It works really, really well.
This is very clever! Good job!
Love the duct tape reference connection to Papa! Glad you are back into “state of the art” technology and equipment.